Something about Roy, Ness, and Mountain Dew
by KawaiiJoltic
Summary: It is never a good idea to be anywhere near Roy or Ness once they've had soda, and even less of a good idea to be near both of them together. Lucas learns this the hard way, leaving two blue-haired swordsmen and a Pokémon trainer to clean up the mess.


_**AN- Hello, people! Welcome to my first ever Smash Bros fanfic. It's just a random idea I thought up, but I think it turned out relatively well. Now, let's get this out of the way. I don't own any of the following; Earthbound/Mother, Fire Emblem, Pokémon, Kirby, Zelda, Ice Climbers, Minecraft, Mountain Dew, Kid Icarus, Sonic, Metal Gear, Star Fox, Mario, F-Zero, Pikmin, Metroid, or Smash Bros. I only own my ideas. Thank you! -KawaiiJoltic**_

* * *

Something about Roy, Ness, and Mountain Dew

Or, also known as The Story in Which we Learn Why Sugary Drinks, Roy, Ness, Pichu, Kirby, and the Ice Climbers do not Mix.

Lucas found himself face to face with his best friend, who bore a manic grin plastered on his normally calm face, along with Roy, who looked even more manic than usual. Of course, they'd come to ask him to play tag, which was exactly the last thing he'd have wanted to do at that particular moment. He'd have much rather had another painful sparring match with Samus and Olimar, or read that history book Zelda had given him as a birthday present last year before he'd promptly discarded it with one of Snake's grenades. He would have even preferred to help Red give Charizard a bath again, even if it meant getting more third-degree burns. But he didn't have the heart to bluntly reject his friend, so he tried to do it a bit more subtly.

"I'd be glad to, but I'm sure I would just ruin your fun because of how bad I am at it.", he sighed, hoping they wouldn't call his bluff.

"Don't worry! I'm sure you'll be fine!", Ness exclaimed while leading Lucas to the field/park outside of the Smash Manor.

"B-but, isn't there someone else who might want to play instead?", Lucas stammered, attempting wildly to find another excuse.

Roy gleefully shook his head. "We already asked almost everyone we could think of! Jeff, Lyn, Ike, Marth, Lucario, Sonic, Shadow, Jill, Pikachu, King Dedede, Meta Knight, Jigglypuff, and even Toon, but no one wanted to play! Wonder why?"

Lucas was getting desperate, so he decided to throw all this "subtlety" out the window. "No! I don't want to! I need to play Minecraft with Kumatora! And then I have a brawl with Falco at three! And I haven't eaten lunch yet! Please don't make me! I don't wanna! HOW MUCH MOUNTAIN DEW DID YOU DRINK?", he screamed as his friends dragged him outside.

"Funny, that's exactly what Jeff said, but he wanted to play Minecraft with Tony and Paula. Anyways, don't worry, it'll be fun!", Ness reassured his friend, who was sobbing madly as Roy dragged him along via impaling his sword through the back of Lucas's shirt.

Lucas was sure that this would be anything but fun.

* * *

Nana stood on top of a tree stump as she announced the rules to their tag game. "First rule; no impaling.", she spoke imposingly. An audible "Awwww…" could be heard from Roy. "And those are the rules. POPO'S IT LET'S GO!"

Everyone ran madly from Popo, who quickly caught up to his sister. "Tag!", he exclaimed joyously. "You're it!"

Everyone kept running, and eventually Nana tagged Kirby. Kirby floated into a tree, and tagged Pichu as she ran past it. Pichu tagged Lucas, who, against his better judgment, was actually slightly enjoying it. Lucas still slightly irritated with Ness for dragging him into the game against his will, so he raced towards the fellow PSI user and slapped him softly on the back. "Tag.", he called out as he ran off.

Ness's already bright eyes filled with a lethal fire as he charged after Roy and tackled him down. Roy then kicked Popo sharply, who then pounded Pichu harshly. Pichu Skull-Bashed Nana into a tree, and Nana froze Ness into a large ice crystal. Ness defrosted himself with PK Fire and Pk Flashed Kirby back into Nana. Lucas lost track of who was it at that point and simply tried to get away from the chaos.

Then, he quite literally ran into Link, Pit, and Peach, who were seated on a small grassy hill , intently watching the tag game. "Why are you watching them?", he asked, even if he didn't care to know the answer.

The three looked at each other and laughed. "Oh, we noticed all the Mountain Dew was gone from the storage room this morning, so we came here to see what would happen.", Peach explained.

"Huh?"

"Last time they almost burned the mansion down. And remember that time with the missiles and the turkey legs?", Link laughed.

"No, I don't.", Pit deadpanned. "I wasn't here for Melee, remember?"

"Oh, sorry. I suppose that's why Lucas doesn't know about it, too. It's a shame you two didn't see the one with Slippy and all that pepper. I couldn't hear right for a week afterwards.", Peach reminisced.

"Or the time they stole Fox's Arwing and did target practice on those Pikmin. Or, was it Goombas. I can't remember.", Link added.

"Can't wait to see what happens this time!", Pit exclaimed excitedly.

At this pint, a plan formulated in Lucas's head. It was a half formed plan, but a plan nonetheless. That plan was to run back into the manor screaming, find a good hiding place, and sob for several hours until this all rolled over.

He decided to go through with this plan, meriting him a fair few odd looks from Peach, Link, and Pit.

* * *

A barely conscious Ike stumbled into his room after lunch to find a psychic, blond preteen huddled in the corner, crying. "Lucas, why are you in my room?", he asked, extremely annoyed.

The most he could get out of Lucas was something about Ness, Roy, and Mountain Dew. Ike hadn't the foggiest idea what any of this meant, and the relatively small amount of sleep he'd gotten the previous night certainly did not aid his thought process. The more incoherent Lucas became, the more Ike's irritation grew, and he eventually concluded that if he wanted Lucas to shut up and leave, he'd have to help him with whatever the heck his problem was. And though he didn't have a clue what Lucas spoke of, Ike thought he just might know someone who did. "One sec, I'll get Marth.", Ike groaned as he left his room.

Ike found the Altean chatting happily with Red about battle strategies in the game room, and he punched the prince's shoulder rather hard to get his attention.

"Ow! That hurt! Would it kill you to maybe tap me on the shoulder or something less painful next time?", Marth groaned unhappily.

Ike simply pulled on his friend's arm with far more force than necessary and sighed. "No time, princess. We've got a crisis. Something about Roy, Ness, and Mountain Dew."

Marth clapped his free hand to his mouth and exclaimed "Dear God, not this again! If they cause half as much damage this time… wait, 'princess'?"

"I don't know anything more than the fact that Lucas is in my room crying and he won't shut up or leave.", Ike commented, ignoring Marth's prior statement.

Red, who neither swordsman had noticed had been trailing the pair, looked concerned. "Lucas? Is he ok?", he asked.

Ike simply shrugged, while Marth twisted away from Ike's grasp and ran to the door leading to the backyard. "Where are you going?", Ike called as he ran after the blue-haired boy.

"We need to stop those two before they make any more trees implode!", Marth yelled as he opened the door to a complete wasteland. Debris was strewn about the typically peaceful meadow and several things, including a chandelier and a crate of mechanical pencils, were burning as if they'd been dowsed in gasoline, which wasn't entirely outside the realm of possibility. And in the midst of this chaos were Roy, Ness, the Ice Climbers, Kirby, and Pichu, who looked as if they were utterly enjoying themselves, even if each of them was wielding a paper fan and several Bob-ombs.

"Oh joy. They brought friends.", Marth sighed.

Red looked as if something had snapped inside of him, and he quickly ran towards the disaster. "Quick, Ike, get Jigglypuff, and Marth, find as many Piplup as you can!", Red ordered. Marth ran to the Poke Ball storage area, and Ike decided it was best not to question anything and follow Red's orders.

Ike found Jigglypuff beating the living daylights out of a sandbag in the training room. "Um, Red told me that I needed to find you because Ness and Roy are high on Mountain Dew and they're turning the backyard into kindling.", he explained to the pink puff. She nodded and ran outside, motioning for Ike to follow her. Ike arrived outside to find the five children and Roy being suspended in the air by Red's Charizard while Red scolded them.

"You all need to promise never to touch Mountain Dew again, ok?", Red demanded in a tone far more threatening than anything Ike had heard ever come out of the Pokémon Trainer.

"W-we promise! Just please don't kill us!", Roy pleaded.

"Yeah! Never again!", Ness repeated.

Red smiled slightly. "Good. I'm glad you see it my way.", he finished. He then turned to Jigglypuff. "Use Sing, ok?", he ordered.

Jigglypuff complied happily and sang until everyone, including Marth and Ike, was asleep. Red's intention was most likely to stop the trouble by letting the boys sleep off their sugar rush, but he ended up getting into far more trouble once the blue-haired swordsmen awoke with black scribbles on their faces.

* * *

_**AN- That was fun. Anyways, just to clarify a few things. **_

_**.I am assuming that the Assist Trophies live in the mansion as well.**_

_**.For those who don't know, Paula is one of the playable characters in Earthbound, and Tony is Jeff's friend from the same game. Kumatora was one of Lucas's allies from Mother 3.**_

_**.Link and Peach brought Pit to see the chaos because, due to him being a Brawl newcomer, he'd never seen it before.**_

_**.Master Hand had stopped buying Mountain Dew for obvious reasons, so that's why none of the Brawl newcomers (Lucas, Ike, Red, etc.) had seen it before. Crazy Hand just bought some to make some fun entertainment for his date with Wham Bam Jewel.**_

_**.Red had been close to Lucas since The Subspace Emissary, hence his concern.**_

_**.Jigglypuff was usually the one people went to whenever things like this happened in the past, so she didn't question it.**_

_**.The Piplup were for extinguishing fires.**_

_**Ok, I think this was everything I needed to cover! I hope you enjoyed it. Remember, reviews are always appreciated. Thank you for reading!**_


End file.
